quote no. 6

"...'cause I'm a dead man now with a ghost who lives

within the confines of these carbon ribs..."

-John Mark McMillan

www.myspace.com/johnmarkmcmillan

The Power of a Name

photo by D. Shand

     A name can greatly impact the way one feels about themselves.  Oftentimes, children with odd names are alienated.  Some children with simple names may wish for something unusual like Ophelia or Prescilla.  For me, my name sort of towes a boundary.  It is not weird or strange, nor is it simple and traditional, just uncommonly heard. 
     When I was a child, my mother told me that she greatly considered Lotus Blossom.  It was my 'working title' while I was still in the womb.  I grimaced at the idea.  How could she imagine giving me such an unusual name?  Later, in middle school, I would think that I was nowhere near delicate or sweet enough (I had a Metallica fixation) to be named after a flower. 
     Recently, I read UnaCosa's blog post about her dreams of the lotus flower.  In Chinese culture it represents strength, creative power and virtuosity.  I now realize that I had quite a strong character for a child and have remained that way.  Creativity is the thread in the needle of my life's journey and virtuosity grealy applies to my many interests and artistic endeavors.  I now believe that it could have been a great name for me.  Perhaps I will save it for my daughter someday.

Put Your Raygun to My Head...

Back in the day, when I was a lone wolf, my life consisted of Princeton college radio, guitar, and magazines.  I would shlep my allowance to Barnes and Noble.  There, I would peruse the shelves for i-D, Preen and other expensive European art and fashion mags.  After sitting on the floor to calculate and deliberate, I'd chose which ones to take home.  In all that time the death of Raygun had already come.  I became addicted to Nylon in 2004 without knowing that the creater, Marvin Scott Jarrett, was responsible for one of the  most ground-breaking music mags of the 1990s.  All I'd known of Raygun was cover photos found on google searches.  But today, when I went to the library to renew my rental of Interview with the Vampire,  I noticed a strangely cool looking coffee table book on the national best seller shelf.  It was indeed a collection of pieces of Raygun!!!  Now it is in my mits for next three weeks.  The genious layout artwork is no doubt inspiring me for future literary endeavors.  We'll see...

To Pass the Time

"Remember childhood and the psychedelic summers, unscripted, crescendos of heat swollen ecstasy, with warm oranges and citrus fruits rinsing your soft palate with their fragrant juices, sylph bodies bare and browned, unbuttoned sundresses, and sea salt in uncombed tresses. When classrooms couldn't keep you, and you were young, drunk from the sun. "

-Susana-Cole

This exerpt from Girl Meets NYC reminded me of the unchained days of blissful summer youth.  Oh! memories and time all spilling over into one cool glass of lemonade under the sunn's delerious rays.  When I small, on days when the sun streamed through the clouds, golden, warm, and bright, I was sure that was an opening to Heaven.  I would look into that intangible glittering brightness breaking through and say, "God is right there."  Only recently did I again begin to look at the sky and believe.

Here, I've made a list of fun ways to spend summer days, just enjoy the brightness with the laughter that I once had in childhood:

1. Read! 

     I used to be an avid reader.  I carried a book around always.  I even preferred coats and jackets with big enough pockets for a book and a cd player.  At some point, I stopped keeping my mind constantly occupied with literature.  But this year I've turned back around.  Now I'm reading, Interview with the Vampire, The Sandman, and The Road.
2. Start painting again. 

     It's calming, fun, and perfect to do while listening to a favorite record.

3. Listen to a whole album without stopping. 

     I haven't laid on the floor in my room with headphones on while sinking into a musical meditative sleep in a long time. 

4.  Sit in a park to daydream and write or draw.  Go to Starbucks and people watch while you journal or sketch, like the French.

5. Have a tie dye party. 
    
     Your friends will thank you for allowing them to act like children again.

Where, oh Where?...

I have been very, very busy lately.  Busy with good, productive, and rewarding things.  In this absence, I have been steadily journaling in my Moleskine companion.  Just the other day, I heard an empowering lecture from the author Don Yost.  If you have the chance, go see him speak.  It's incredible.

Here, I leave you with an inspiring quote, not nearly as epic as the lecture, but relevant to these times.

"Doing what you have to to pay the bills doesn't mean you give up on writing." -unknown